When you thought back on last year, were you left with a list of things you should have done better? Things you should have taken care of? Foods you shouldn’t have eaten, gym sessions you should have attended, a life you should have organized, money you should have saved? Are you facing your resolutions next year with outward determination and secret sinking feeling that you have failed so many times in the past and will probably fail again now? This year I’m removing “should” from my goals, and I’m encouraging you to do that too.
This year I want to do less things I should and more things I could!
The things that speak to our hearts, the kinds of things we really want in our lives are often drowned out by the list of things we think we should do and the ways we should be. And let’s be honest, I’m not nearly as attached to being organized as I think should be. I don’t really want to go to the gym 3 times a week. I don’t even like it there, but I think I should. I want to continue to grow and make improvements in my life, I just don’t really want to be someone who wakes up an hour earlier to meditate, journal and exercise before the day starts because some expert told me how beneficial it would be in my life.
Do you know what I really want? What I really wish I had more of last year? FUN!
I want more adventures and cozy cuddles and games and lazy afternoons and mornings in the garden and parties and super yummy food and silliness! I want more love and more sunshine and more starlight and more laughing and more bare feet! I want to spend time contemplating the universe with family, telling stories, rolling around in the backyard and listening to music.
So these will be the desires which shape my goals this year. These are the pictures I’ll plaster all over my desk and phone and computer screens. These are the reminders I’ll write on the bookmark in my planner. When I look over these wants and desires every month and ask myself, “How?” the answers will flow freely, and I’ll have the satisfaction of writing things like, “turn my face to the sun and feel it’s warmth when I walk out the door” and “say yes to goofing off with my son” on my list of habits to form. Scheduling time in bare feet and taking my tea in the garden sounds so much nicer than scheduling a trip to the gym. I’ll definitely enjoy my full night of sleep, not feeling guilty about what I should have gotten up early to do. I feel confident that my messy house won’t run off just because I stopped fretting over it. Regardless of how many spreadsheets I do or don’t work out finances on, I’ll still pay the bills and the abundance of this world will continue to bless my life.
And I know what you’re thinking, “But I still should lose weight and improve my health…” Here it is, the difference between “should” and “could.” Maybe I should go to the gym 3x a week, that’s what people do, right? But I could hike in the mountains again, and I’m going to need to work my way up to that. That amazing feeling and view from the top of a ridge is so much more motivating than looking better in my swimsuit or gaining some intangible declaration of health will ever be for me. What do you really want more of this year?!
~ alesia